I found out I was pregnant four days after my 17th birthday. The father and I were off and on since I was in 7th grade. We were not together when I got pregnant. We were careless, and I wasn't taking any birth control nor using a condom. When I told him I was pregnant, he replied "Not surprising," which was the furthest answer I needed.

I felt completely alone. I only told two close friends. I was constantly sick, and hiding my pregnancy from my mom was becoming a hassle. I was already stressed about making a decision, so I decided to tell her. Her reaction was insane. She called me a "ho" and told me I was stupid because he was having sex with other people. The baby's father was far from supportive, and so was she. He wouldn't tell his parents. He was set on abortion, and I was stuck.

My mom immediately made an appointment for an abortion. My aunt took me to my ultrasound appointment. The father didn't even bother to come or contact me for that matter. The abortion procedure was January 18. My two best friends came, but, still, the father didn't even bother to come.

After the procedure, I felt numb. I had absolutely no emotions. It's been about a year and a half, and I can say I still have not forgiven myself. The father and I are together, but I still have a lot of feelings of anger and resentment toward him. Having an abortion was the absolute hardest decision I ever had to make, and it kills me that I basically had to go through it alone.

I was eight weeks pregnant when I got the abortion. I completely fell in love with the baby inside of me. I miss my baby terribly. I know abortion was the best choice, but I wish it wasn't my only choice. I can't find within myself to get past it. I'm still hurt. Hopefully, with time I'll heal.

I hope anyone reading this knows that they are far from alone. You just need strength.