I live in a city where most of the females here have had a child or have had more that one abortion. Most of the people I know have had more than five and I never thought that I would be a person that would have one abortion, let alone two.

In March 2009, I suspected that I may have been pregnant but I didn't find out until I took a test in April. My boyfriend and I talked it out... he already has three kids and I didn't want to burden him with another I wanted my child to grow up in a world were its parents didn't have to struggle to take care of it. So, after a lot of thinking and talking it out, I decided to have the abortion.

May 6th is burned in my brain forever. I found out after the ultrasound that I was 12 weeks and 4 days. I still went through with it. That was the most painful experience of my life. It hurt me physically and emotionally-- it took me oo long to get that day out of my head I felt traumatized. After about a month and a half I got over it.

In August I took another test and saw those evil red lines. I was upset that I put myself in this same situation in less than a year. It didn't take that long to make the decision. In September I made the appointment. This time when I went to Planned Parenthood the staff made me feel so much better-- they were so much nicer than my last experience. So I got the abortion when I was nine weeks and three days, and I felt bad because I really didn't have any emotion towards it but it didn't last long. the next day I could not keep my self from crying and I convinced my self that I did it for my child, and that when I do decide to have kids that I will provided a better life for my it.

I promised myself that I would not get another one. I would not be just like the other girls. The only problem now is I am constantly wanting attention from my boyfriend, but I don't want to smother him so whenever he wants to go out. I just let him. I don't tell him how I feel and that I cry whenever hes not around me, but I KNOW that he LOVES ME and I LOVE HIM and that's all that matters. It won't take me long to get over it this time, as long as I have him around. I love him for supporting me through this whole thing.