When I was 27, I found out I was pregnant. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and the irony that I became pregnant the last time we had sex was more than a little disturbing. It was a tumultuous relationship and he was not someone I could ever image relying on to be a decent parent or partner. I could not even imagine telling him that I was pregnant.
Until that day, I had always imagined that I would be against having an abortion. I had fallen victim to scare tactics on my university campus and horror stories portrayed in the media. I thought the experience would be horrifying and would forever haunt me. The reality is, nothing could be further from the truth.
The moment I saw the positive test, I knew in my heart I would not have that baby. There was never any question. I called that day and made an appointment, I went three weeks later and the only thing I felt was a huge sense of calm and peace after it was done. The process was in no way traumatic. It was in all honestly similar to the discomfort of getting a pap. I do remember asking to see the baby when I was drugged up and they thankfully said there was nothing to see. I woke up and I felt peace.
I made the mistake of telling him that week- I thought I might regret it if I didn't. He was just as terrible as I feared he would be. I am so glad I made the decision on my own and that I had my own strength behind me when I did it. I look back on it not as a terrible experience but as a peaceful one that made me stronger.