My boyfriend and I were/are so in love. And on our one year anniversary we decided to celebrate, not thinking about the outcome. Needless to say, one month went by before I took a pregnancy test that turned out positive. I was happy and scared at the same time.

I told my boyfriend as soon as I found out. I was so glad when he told me how happy he was. We started making plans for our baby and how we would support a family when I had no job and he was working for minimum wage... but we had figured that my parents would help us out.

We were wrong. I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom when I was around 13 weeks. All she could say was "get an abortion or leave." I was devastated. I had no idea what to do. I wanted a baby soooooooooo bad. I told myself 100 times that I could never live with an abortion. I laid my hand on my belly time after time and told my child that everything would be okay, I would protect it.

I lied.

I told my mom that I wouldn't get an abortion and she kicked me out immediately. After one week of staying with my boyfriend and his family, I realized that I needed to go home. I missed my parents and my three little sisters that I was no longer allowed to see or talk to. I called my mom and told her that I would get the abortion if she would let me come home. (That was the single worst decision I've ever made.) My boyfriend was devastated but he understood and supported me anyways.

I had my surgery a week later, on March 12.

Ever since, I've been completely depressed. I can't stand what I did. It goes against everything I've ever believed. I've come so close to suicide on more that one occasion and even to this day, I barely sleep, and when I do it's because I cried myself to sleep.