I wrote this 4 months after my abortion.

Hi, my name is Kate and I’m 21. I found out I was pregnant on April 24, 2010; I was so shocked thinking “oh it can’t happen to me.” My boyfriend at the time and I had talked about kids, but I didn’t really think it would happen so soon. We had only been together for five months and in there we took a short break. When I found out I was pregnant, we had only been back together almost two months.

He is very against abortion and that is the reason we’re not together anymore. Well, that and he cheated on me our whole relationship. He was out of town when I took the test at my friend’s house. I told him I was taking the test and it didn’t even take the full three minutes for the test to turn positive. I let him know the results and he was so excited. He wanted a baby so bad. But he didn’t have a job and hadn’t had one the whole five months we were together. I was the only one working; he on the other hand was managing to live off of 120 some dollars of unemployment a week. We decided to tell my mom on April 25 and the first thing she said to me is “you know you can’t afford a baby right now.” I knew that for some reason he didn’t think it was going to be a problem. I am completely against raising a baby with all state help. We went to a park and talked to my mom in her vehicle; she asked him what his thoughts were and all he could say is “I’m completely against abortion; I think it is disgusting and a bad thing to do.” He ended up getting out of the vehicle, and I talked to my mom some more and cried a lot. But I knew that I couldn’t raise a baby. I could hardly afford to pay for my own self. She told me that the choice is up to me, I can’t let the fact he is completely against abortion change my decision. So I made the decision that was best for me and my life, even though it meant I was going to lose him completely.

I called Planned Parenthood on that Monday and made my appointment for May 4th. The day of the appointment came and my mom drove me there. As we pulled into the parking lot, there were a lot of protesters there. All I remember hearing is “you don’t have to do this, there are other options” all I thought to myself was “no this is the option that is right for me.” When we got into the clinic, I filled out all of my paperwork and then waited. Finally, they called my name and I went and had my ultrasound... they did an internal one where they stick the thing inside of you because according to when I thought my last period was means I wouldn’t be very far along.

The lady asked me if I wanted to see the screen and also if I wanted to know if there was multiples, and I answered yes to both. When I saw the screen and there was barely even a little speck in there, I knew it was all going to be okay. She said it was all mainly just a yolk sack and that I was around 43 days pregnant. Then they did some blood tests and sent me back to the waiting room. About 30 minutes later they called my name and took me into the room, and a lady talked to me to make sure I knew what was going to happen (as if I didn’t spend hours upon hours researching this) and that I wasn’t being forced into having an abortion. She also told me all the instructions about the pill and pills I would be taking and gave me birth control to start. Then the doctor came in and gave me the first pill, mifepristone. And he then gave me a bottle with the four pills that I could take within 72 hours of taking the first pill. I also got a prescription for hydrocodone and got some ibuprofen to make the cramping hurt less.

I decided to take the next four pills the next day at 12:30pm. The pills are misoprostol and you put two on each side of your mouth and let them dissolve over a 30 minute period. By 1:30 I was already cramping and started bleeding. It hurt really badly, but with the pain medicine it was bearable. I bled a lot for the next two days, but then it started to slow down. I even got to be a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding on May 8th. I don’t regret my decision to have an abortion, even though it meant losing my boyfriend. I think that if I was far enough along that I couldn’t have had a medication abortion that I wouldn’t have had an abortion, but knowing that I was just over a month pregnant, I was okay with it. Having the medication abortion is more like having a miscarriage, which might be why I’m okay with it. I haven’t cried about "what if" since I had the abortion, and so many people from the town I live in are making this a huge deal, calling me heartless and selfish, but I know what is best for me. I don’t regret having an abortion.